Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
