fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
