She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
