i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry about my life...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
