that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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