do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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