this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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