Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
