I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
