I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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