Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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