i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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