He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
