like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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