well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
