did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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