...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
