Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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