i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
