There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
