you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
