I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
