Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
