I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
