WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
