Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
