why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
