My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
