with your own penis?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize