So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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