Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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