We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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