Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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