i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
