you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
