He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
