I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
