i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
