it wasn't lemon gatorade
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize