It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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