this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
