got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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