In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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