dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
