Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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