Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
