I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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