She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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