Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
