I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
