my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
