the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
