Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
