We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
