We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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