Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize