Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize