Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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