chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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