Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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