Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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