Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
