How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
