There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
