Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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