Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
