she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
