i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
